Now here’s the story of the incredible shrinking man
of a fatal disappointment met with a frozen margarita grin
Now see him blink in time to the hour hand
a funny red nose, Rudolph jokes, memory failing
If you buy lottery tickets, you’ll win some day
A pile of dead scratchers with the gold and silver scratched away
He faces the manageress, he feels her bright disdain
Watch as she yawns all the way through his final scene
She makes it clear, my dear, in no way does she wish him ill
She says there’s no justice, no, there’s just this bill
If you buy lottery tickets, you’ll win some day
A pile of dead scratchers with the gold and silver scratched away
and your horseshoe wreath, it’ll surely bloom
If you wait in the hotel bar all afternoon
If you wait in the hotel bar all afternoon
Ten years at the Colombia Hotel
For that you should win a fabulous prize
like a lifetime room for a life that slipped away
A place to hide the asphalt and tarmac in his eyes
If you buy lottery tickets, you’ll win one day
A pile of dead scratchers with the gold and silver scratched away
and your horseshoe wreath, it’ll surely bloom
If you wait in the hotel bar all afternoon
If you wait in the hotel bar all afternoon
You’ll see Ed McMahon and his gorgeous models
emerge from the Colombia gloom
with many thanks for the life you led and the joy you made
They’ll give you a wad of paper, and yes, all your favorite balloons
and make an overly long speech
about how you never let the bastards kill your soul
But if you hammer the sun to the dawn you pound on the walls of doom
and everyday further back and in a world we’re not heroes or Superman
Tourists shine like stars and cast no shadows across the room
and end up owning only a haystack, a needle, and a spoon
They say we pardon to the degree we love
but for most of us love is only a part in a cartoon
I know we pay for what we are, but let me please observe
you’re a king, I know I saw it written on your tomb.
