She turns up on the quiet at my surgery
Stacking up on opioids and she never pays the fee
She has a habit that would kill a horse stone dead
She fixes up right there in my room
Gets so high I have to scrape her off the roof
She starts to dribble starts babbling too
She's the Queen of England what can I do
She says if I say I word I won't live too long
Like that kid Diana so I do what I'm told
Sometimes she tells me things no one should know
I gotta keep writing keep her turned on
Nothing I can do until maybe she OD's
And dies

Tranquilize yourself Britannia
Tranquilize yourself Britannia
Tranquilize yourself Britannia
Tranquilize yourself Britannia

So I got Big Phil coming down today
And he wants medicating too
Most of the time he comes over
Cos he's got nothing to do
Amphetamines are his thing right in the mainline
One minute quiet the next verbose
On and on he goes just talking shit
But he wants to hang out and be my friend
And I gotta sit there listening until maybe
He has a heart attack and dies

Tranquilize yourself Britannia
Tranquilize yourself Britannia
Tranquilize yourself Britannia
Tranquilize yourself Britannia

The doctor smiles like Jeremy Kyle
Says hello madam take a seat
I got 5 minutes to diagnose you
Convince you I can get you healed
Take one in the morning two in the evening
Your situation it ain't unique
If your condition don't improve
Then maybe we'll move you to a higher dose next week

Blaze, blaze away the pain
From empire to opium
From cradle to the grave
Blaze, blaze away the pain
From opium to empire
Forever we are slaves

Your boys missing school he's been labelled a fool he got ADHD
Well a Ritalin script just might help him fit
Back into the community
If ends upside doing his time
High on spice and rolling his eyes
Well keep him alive with some Vicodin

Tranquilize yourself Britannia
Welcome to the pharmacy
And the doctor to the queen
Tranquilize yourself Britannia
Welcome to the pharmacy
And the doctor to the queen