"This is a song..." "This is uhh, This is a new song..." "It's through the eyes of one of the greatest people alive, I feel..." "The Lunchlady" Woke up in the morning Put on my new plastic glove Served some reheated salisbury steak With a little slice of love Got no clue what the chicken pot pie is made of Just know everything's doing fine Down here in Lunchlady Land Well I wear this net on my head 'Cause my red hair is fallin' out I wear these brown orthopedic shoes 'Cause I got a bad case of the gout I know you want seconds on the corndogs But there's no reason to shout Everybody gets enough food Down here in Lunchlady Land Well yesterday's meatloaf is today's sloppy joes And my breath reeks of tuna And there's lots of black hairs coming out of my nose In Lunchlady Land your dreams come true Clouds made of carrots and peas Mountains built of shepherds pie And rivers made of macaroni and cheese But don't forget to return your trays And try to ignore my gum disease No student can escape the magic of Lunchlady Land Hoagies & grinders, hoagies & grinders Hoagies & grinders, hoagies & grinders Navy beans, navy beans, navy beans Hoagies & grinders, hoagies & grinders Navy beans, navy beans Meatloaf sandwich sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe Well I dreamt one morning That I woke up to see All the pepperoni pizza Was a-looking at me It screamed, why do you burn me And serve me up cold I said I got the spatula Just do what you're told Then the liver & onions Started joining the fight And the chocolate pudding Pushed me with all its might And the chop suey slapped me And it kicked me in the head It's called revenge Lunchlady Said the garlic bread I said what did I do To make you all so mad They said you got flabby arms And your breath is bad Then the green beans said You better run and hide But then my friend sloppy joe came And joined my side He said if it wasn't for the Lunchlady The kids wouldn't eatcha You should be shakin' her hand And sayin' please to meet ya She gives you a purpose And she gives you a goal You should be kissin' her feet And kissin' her mole Now all the angry foods Just leave me alone And we all live together In a happy home Thanks to sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe Well me & sloppy joe got married We got six kids and we're doing' just fine Down in Lunchlady Land