When was the last time you felt so happy
 You had to give yourself a good pinch
 When did you ever fail one of life's highs
 Without using stepladder or winch
 That's why the lifeless crave the past
 'Cause when they're flogged, stoned, lynched
 They can watch the living fizzle out to nought
 Without even moving one inch

 That's what keeps you alive
 The thought of undeserved death
 That's why cynics deep-sea dive
 Just to watch someone healthy lose breath
 That's what really makes you tick
 When the fearless are stopped in their tracks
 Optimism looks up counts the stars
 Pessimism looks down and counts cracks

 That Monday morning moaners club
 That meet every week on park bench
 At least they've earned their grumble stripes
 When they fought tooth and nail in the trench
 If you ever sat down in one place too long
 They'd need a fork-lift truck and a wrench
 Indecision drip feeds modesty
 But apathy fails even to quench
 That's what keeps you alive
 The thought of undeserved death
 That's why cynics deep-sea dive
 Just to watch someone healthy lose breath
 That's what really makes you tick
 When the fearless are stopped in their tracks
 Optimism looks up counts the stars
 Pessimism looks down and counts cracks

 And even when it's every man for himself
 You still like to stick with the bunch
 You'd rather tag along at the back of the crowd
 To risk anything on a hunch

 That's what keeps you alive
 The thought of undeserved death
 That's why cynics deep-sea dive
 Just to watch someone healthy lose breath
 That's what really makes you tick
 When the fearless are stopped in their tracks
 Optimism looks up counts the stars
 Pessimism looks down and counts cracks