It took a few packed bags and a few slammed doors
 It took a false, false smile with a septic pause
 From my plastic moustache to your clip-on claws
 (In other words I hate you)

 It took a thousand fights with a thousand draws
 It took a blinkered vision for a long lost cause
 As Romeo leaves to light applause
 (And softly says I hate you)

 My attitude leaves a lot to be desired
 My fashion sense has never been quite right
 But I'd rather live in drainpipes
 Than with friends that I've acquired
 (In so many words I hate you)

 Those winter nights just spent indoors
 That criminal fizz in the drink he pours
 We smooch all night to "The Theme From Jaws"
 (In other words I hate you)

 What's yours is mine and mine is yours
 A screaming for a get out clause
 Here's the man with a thousand mother-in-laws
 (In other words I hate you)

 My looks leave a lot to be desired
 My music taste has never been the trend
 But me and Perry Como, well our patience has expired
 In so many words I hate you