Guard your body with the best barbed wire
 And ward off foe with the fiercest of fire
 But let love unguarded into the strangest of nights

 Wear your dresses like they're up for hire
 And leave them with your humour in the tumble dryer
 And watch yourself stumble down a lane with no lights

 School like life turns some men into mice
 What you need now is a little piece of mouse advice

 Well they say be wary of strangers
 Especially if they offer you sweets
 But there ain't no government health warning
 On half the mad fuckers you meet

 Save yourself personal tradegy
 Go back to the man with the sweets
 Do yourself schooling favour
 Head back to the man with the sweets

 Those who feared cancer never had much to say
 They bored us at parties onto forty a day
 They forced us into corners and onto forty a day

 The dentiist's chair is the only time
 That anybody ever looks at their mouth
 Let the dentist give their teeth something to chatter about

 School like life turns some men into mice
 To avoid the rat-trap take the mouse's advice

 Well they say be wary of strangers
 Especially if they offer you sweets
 But there ain't no government health warning
 On half the mad fuckers you meet

 Save yourself personal tradegy
 Go back to the man with the sweets
 Do yourself schooling favour
 Head back to the man with the sweets