The girls are on the beach in their string bikinis The guys are strutting proudly showing off their weenies Top 40 garbage spewing expensive radios As they primp their pampered bodies And put schnozzguard on their nose This ain't Hawaii This ain't Hawaii This ain't Hawaii This ain't Hawaii Prep school blonds and musclemen with perfect heinies There's more money on this beach than all the tea in china These girls all look like Nancy Drew, the boys like Jim McMahon And their fat, white, ugly parents look like Morey Amsterdam This ain't Hawaii This ain't Hawaii This ain't Hawaii This ain't Hawaii In droves they hit the beach in Porches and Ferrari's The sun has cooked their brain they're on a surf safari The Lake is full of creepy snobs, I stare to get annoyed This isn't Honolulu, this is Illinois They're surfing in Wilmette