Too old, too old He's too old to cut the mustard anymore He's gettin' too old, too old He's too old to cut the mustard anymore Once I kissed a millionaire Ran my fingers through his hair The whole thing turned out pretty grim 'Cause none of his hair belonged to him Too old, too old He's too old to cut the mustard anymore He's gettin' too old, too old He's too old to cut the mustard anymore A gent I know with a big sedan Swore he was an army man He got dressed up, fit to kill In the uniform he wore at the Bunker Hill Too old, too old He's too old to cut the mustard anymore He's gettin' too old, too old He's too old to cut the mustard anymore I entertained an actor I know The moon was high and the lights were low He said I'd like to play the scene But it's time to drink my Ovaltine Too old, too old He's too old to cut the mustard anymore He's gettin' too old, too old He's too old to cut the mustard anymore It seems that every man you meet Wants to sweep you off his feet But gals, before you do submit Make him show his birth certificate Too old, too old He's too old to cut the mustard anymore He's gettin' too old, too old He's too old to cut the mustard anymore