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Spotcheck Billy got down on his hands and knees 
He said "Hey momma, hey let me check your oil all right?" 
She said "No, no honey, not tonight 
Comeback Monday, comeback Tuesday, then I might." 
I said Juanita, my sweet Jaunita, what are you up to? 
My Juanita 
I said Jaunita, my sweet taquita, what are you up to? 
My Juanita 

Don't want nobody who won't dive for dimes 
Don't want no speedballs 'cause I might die tryin 
Throw me a line, throw me a line 
'Cause there's a fat man in the bathtub with the blues 
I hear you moan, I hear you moan, I hear you moan 

Billy got so sad, dejected, put on his hat and start to run 
Runnin' down the street yellin' at the top of his lungs 
All I want in this life of mine is some good clean fun 
All I want in this life and time is some hit and run 

I said Juanita, my sweet Jaunita, what are you up to? 
My Jaunita 
I said Jaunita, my sweet taquito, what are you up to? 
My Juanita 

Put my money in your meter baby so it won't run down 
But you caught me in the squeeze play on the cheesy side of town 
Throw me a dime, throw me a line 
'Cause there's a fat man in the bathtub with the blues 
I hear you moan, I hear you moan, I hear you moan