Well it seems I've had a lifetime filled with misery I remember how it all began The doctor grabbed my feet, slapped me on the cheek That's what it takes to make a man Even as a baby they were pinnin' things on me Daddy called me mother's little lamb But you should have seen 'em rave When I gave the dog a shave That's what it takes to make a man They thought I was a genius, when I first went to school Then I flunked my very first exam And for all the books I've read There' s just sawdust in my head That's what it takes to make a man Well I finally finished highschool, tried some college too Then I did a hitch with Uncle Sam I fought the enemy, sergeants I'll agree That's what it takes to make a man Well I went back to my hometown Where the mayor was my friend Said he knew a job that I could lend Well I got that job alright Cleaned the streets up every night That's what it takes to make a man Well I got a new position in a dry good store down town Bought my gal a golden wedding band But she up and fled the scene When it turned her finger green That's what it takes to make a man Oh yeah, that's what it takes to make a man