As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be? Ah, you're drunk, You're drunk you silly old fool, Still you can not see That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before And as I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat should be Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be Ah, you're drunk, You're drunk you silly old fool, Still you can not see That's a woollen blanket that me mother sent to me Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more But buttons in a blanket sure I never saw before And as I went home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be I saw a pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me Who owns that pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be Ah, you're drunk, You're drunk you silly old fool, Still you can not see That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more But tobacco in a tin whistle sure I never saw before And as I went home on Thursday night as drunk as drunk could be I saw two boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me Who owns them boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be Ah, you're drunk, You're drunk you silly old fool, Still you can not see They're two lovely Geranium pots me mother sent to me Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more But laces in Geranium pots I never saw before And as I went home on Friday night as drunk as drunk could be I saw a head upon the bed where my old head should be Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me Who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be Ah, you're drunk, You're drunk you silly old fool, Still you can not see That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before