The album sucks the critics say
I can't sing and I can't play
All I care about is sex and money 
I look out-dated, I think that's funny 
But I'm too shallow to really give a damn
'Cause I sing for a party rock band 

In '86, fans ripped out my hair
Now it's '96, there ain't none there
The girls used to talk dirty to me
But now it just really hurts when I pee 
But I'm too stoned to really give a damn
'Cause I sing for my party rock band 

Bi-sexual girls, come get to know me
You can be my two and only
I'll be your brain-damaged party rock man 

My agent says I need publicity
Told me act depressed, they take me seriously
So wrecked my car into a telephone pole
Tried to date the singer from Hole
But Courtney didn't love me
Don't they understand? 
Cuz I'm a shallow minded, sex cravin'
Don't care about nothing unless I'm getting laid
Party rock man