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If I had a million dollars (x2) 
I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house) 
If I had a million dollars (x2) 
I'd buy you furniture for your house (Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman) 
If I had a million dollars (x2) 
I'd buy you a K-car (a nice Reliant automobile) 
And if I had a million dollars 
I'd buy your love. 

If I had a million dollars 
I'd build a tree fort in our yard 
If I had a million dollars 
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard 
If I had a million dollars 
Maybe we could put a little tiny fridge in there somewhere 
We could just go up there and hang out, like open the fridge and stuff, and there'd be foods laid out for us, 
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things, 
They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon 
Well can you blame 'em? haha yeah! 

If I had a million dollars (x2) 
I'd buy you a fur coat (But not a real fur coat, that's cruel) 
If I had a million dollars (x2) 
I'd buy you an exotic pet (Yep, like a llama or an emu) 
If I had a million dollars (x2) 
I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (All them crazy elephant bones) 
If I had a million dollars 
I'd buy your love. 

If I had a million dollars 
We wouldn't have to walk to the store, 
If I had a million dollars 
We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more, 
If I had a million dollars 
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner, 
But we would eat Kraft dinner 
Of course we would, we'd just eat more. 
And buy really expensive ketchups with it 
That's right, all the fanciest Dijon ketchup (mmmmmm) 

If I had a million dollars (x2) 
I'd buy you a green dress (But not a real green dress, that's cruel) 
And if I had a million dollars (x2) 
I'd buy you some art (a Picasso or a Garfunkel) 
If I had a million dollars (x2) 
I'd buy you a monkey (Haven't you always wanted a monkey?) 
If I had a million dollars 
I'd buy your love. 

If I had a million dollars (x5) 
I'd be rich!!