Once upon a time me and Vudi met A major American rock star in a shop We were immediately jealous of his hair And his fuel-injected sports cock He made the usual stupid sexual jokes About the way he comes on top But I could tell it was a lie By the way that he walked How did you pass the President's Test Even if I can't match your ability to compete At least give me a chance to cheat He said, "Are you losers making fun Of our serious vocation? You just gotta bring the music to the people man And then go score a hole in one." The pleasures of a treadmill and the factory Took all the innocence from his eyes Leaving him to spurt unashamed By the size of his dull surprise How did you pass the President's Test I never felt honest telling those virutous lies And my toupee always gets into my eyes How do you pass the President's Test I don't even want to know my score I don't know who's telling me the truth anymore I said, "The only thing that we're good for Is being forgotten." And I know you're big enough of a star To make sure that the job gets done How do you pass the President's Test I swear one day they'll build a monument To the man with the most reasons for his embarrassment How do you pass the President's Test No I don't even want to know my score I don't know who's telling me the truth anymore