Bobby Brady's dealing crack - Marcia's on the pill
Mike's in bed with Alice + Sam sells dog chops at his meat shop
Greg is trying on garter belts and Peter spent 3 nights in jail
Murder in the Brady house because Jan Brady couldn't stand it

Murder in the Brady house
Things were just too great
Murder in the Brady house
Someone had to break

Cindy called Jan a stinker for playing ball inside the house
She tattletaled while Alice kissed the postman on the mouth
Blood is on the TV screen and guts are on the stairs
Murder in the Brady house and no-one even cares