[Brogna / Christ] I went to a doctor with a pain in my head He said: "Tumor boy! Six months you're dead, It's gonna be slow and painful It ain't gonna be no fun" So I went home and decided I'll end it now my life's done Game Over, end of the ride It's suicide!!! So I took out a shotgun, I put it in my mouth I put it in too far, I gagged then ralphed I jumped in front of a truck I missed and only felt a breeze Then I tried a bus, the driver stopped and said: "Exact change, please!!!" I survived, was still alive! I dropped a toaster in the tub with me It did wonders for my hair Was gonna drive myself right off a cliff Got lost on my way there I took a jar of sleeping pills But all I did was snooze I can't do nothing right I got the Dead Man Blues! Can't get it right I'm feeling so uptight I can't die I gotta wonder why I try and try and try but I can't die I've got the Dead Man Blues 'Cause even if I win I lose I threw a rope around the rafters Around my neck, stood on a chair The phone rings, my machine picks up And guess who's there? It's a message from my doctor And he says: "Hey lucky break! It was just a dirt on the X-ray Whoops! I made a mistake!" And then I slipped off the chair And I was hanging there: I've got the Dead Man Blues 'Cause even if I win I lose The Dead Man Blues