She got my number and she chasing me so far
Me out of slumber, I can do with no faux-pas
Mixed up and bleeding, I's high on believing, it's all surreal

Slip on a T-shirt, me gotta look so cool
Me Biba braces are making me so cruel
She, Dinosaur and me, her he-whore, sleep Muriel

Oh see her move so right in her big baggy strides
And her golden top made of satin
See her wriggle her hips, take the almighty hiss
It's Muriel the actor she's rapping, Muriel the actor she's rapping-ping-ping

She dressed to kill and me looking so jolly
I know she will, she's a lady of folly
She's seventeen, oh you know what I mean, she's a circus girl

Across the ring on a gay light fantastic
For anything, oh she'll bust her elastic
She so inviting, me given up fighting, I'm all in a whirl

Oh see her move so right in her big baggy strides
And her golden top made of satin
See her wriggle her hips, take the almighty hiss
It's Muriel the actor she's rapping, Muriel the actor she's rapping-ping-ping

Oh see her move so right in her big baggy strides
And her golden top made of satin
See her wriggle her hips, take the almighty hiss
It's Muriel the actor she's rapping, it's Muriel the actor she's rapping-ping-ping

A superman in a comical moment
Jump through the fan, you're the inhuman showman
Oh hear the roar of the crowd call for more, so gullible

Me took ma band on the road for a lift-up
She took my hand and she said : 'Never give up'
Oh schizophrenia I know you, I been yer, so subtle

Oh see her move so right in her big baggy strides
And her golden top made of satin
See her wriggle her hips, take the almighty hiss
It's Muriel the actor she's rapping, it's Muriel the actor she's rapping, yeah yeah
Muriel the actor she's rapping, baby yes, Muriel the actor she's rapping, do